What has changed between us
by Melissa Motown
Summary: A CrissColfer fanfiction. When friendship between Darren and Chris suddenly changes to something more..
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

It was Monday morning on set. It had been a great weekend for Chris.

Catching up on some deprived sleep, writing on a new screenplay – one he was extremely excited about – and hanging out with some of the crew and cast of Glee.

He was absolutely ready for work and had some great scenes to shoot in this upcoming episode.

He felt really blessed in every way. These last couple of years had been a wild ride and more dreams were coming true that he had ever dared to imagine.

He checked the script in the trailer and found the right outfit for Kurt.

It actually wasn't too bad this time. It was nearly something he would wear himself, and that made him wonder, if _he_ was changing style or Kurt was!

Both scenarios were scarring and hilarious at the same time.

He got dressed, filled a couple of diet cokes in his bag and headed for makeup.

"Hi Chris" Liza welcomed him in front of the mirror, "You sure look Kurtsie today."

Liza was his secret favorite makeup person and he loved talking to her.

"You think so … hm … and I thought I almost looked like Chris today."

"Oh I love you both so don't worry one bit."

"You're so sweet Liza." Chris sighed dramatically.

"So you're having a long day?"

"Always – but the weekend has been great, so I'm not complaining."

With makeup on, the right outfit and a superior facial expression Chris could almost feel Kurt Hummel appear out of his bones as he walked towards the choir room.

The room was buzzing with voices and laughter and Chris joined the fun and the preparations going on for the scene.

Kurt and Blaine were supposed to sit next to each other, so Chris headed for Darren to go through their lines.

They hadn't talked for more than a couple of minutes though before Chris realized that something was up.

Darren usually was full of energy and drive, but he suddenly seemed quiet.

"Are you okay buddy" Chris asked Darren without anyone else hearing.

"Yeah I'm fine", Darren looked away.

"You don't look fine to me" Chris put his hand on Darren shoulder.

Darren took his time, but eventually said: "I broke up with my girlfriend last night…. and she didn't take too well." Darren shook his head a bit, "so now I just feel like a big jerk."

Chris had never seen Darren like this and it all of a sudden got to him.

"Sorry to hear that. You had been together for quite a while – hadn't you?"

Darren nodded, "yeah she was there for me before all of this happened."

He looked around in the choir room. "So she is convinced that it's because of the girls hanging all over my pictures – and that I now think she's not good enough for me.

She told me to come back to earth and become who I was before Glee."

Darren looked Chris straight in the eyes. "But what she and I had feels like ages ago; and I don't have the same feelings for her anymore. And at some point she's right – I'm not the same anymore."

"I don't think any of us are the same", Chris then replied. "It's impossible for others to quite understand what we are going through here, and how crazy all of this can be … and to change doesn't have to be a bad thing you know." Chris gave him an encouraging smile.

Darren pushed him friendly with his shoulder.

"Still feeling awful though."

Chris was thoughtful for a while and then said: "I know we all kind of wanna believe that there's someone out there for us, who can make us happy for the rest of our lives – but honestly – I don't know. Maybe there is someone that matters in different stages of our lives."

"So you don't believe in love that lasts for a life time?"

" Yes I do – I mean I see it my parent's marriage – I just haven't experienced it myself." Chris all of a sudden got a bit shy.

"You're a good friend Chris."

Darren looked at him and Chris suddenly noticed a vulnerability he hasn't seen before in those eyes.

It was intense and made him feel warm inside.

"So are you Darren." Chris looked back and suddenly got a bit dizzy.

The director called to order, but Darren and Chris kept next to each other on set for the rest of the day.

Things turned busy in the following weeks. Shooting schedule was tight, but Chris didn't mind. He did what he loved to do and was surrounded by people who shared his passion, and dreams came true in the midst of it all.

He often found himself in deep conversations with Darren.

There were still a lot of funny moments and jokes between them, but most of the time they talked about serious stuff.

The things going on in their lives, what opportunities they were offered in the jet stream of Glee, and what would happen in the afterlife of the show. Many decisions were made by heart, but they started to use each other in the process.

Darren played some of his songs for Chris and they started a fantasy novel together. They made the wildest brainstorms on the storylines and the other cast members sometimes tried to follow their craziness which led to so many hilarious situations.

From that point things started to slightly change between them.

It was little things at first - things that Chris didn't think much of in the beginning – at least that what he tried to convince himself about.

They were sitting a bit closer to each other, Darren made eye contact for a little bit longer. Private jokes they shared with each other without anyone else following or noticing.

But gradually Chris felt the moments between them getting more and more intense.

It scared him and at the same time it felt _so_ good.

Sometimes when Chris was lying in bed at night, he found himself confused, and feelings were starting to form, but he always buried them thoroughly, not really allowing them.

Things developed further during a scene later that season.

Blaine had been attacked by Sebastian and had suffered an eye injury. Kurt, Rachel and Finn went to see him and wanted to cheer him up with a song.

The script said Blaine and Kurt would hold hands in the scene.

They had done that in so many takes before today, so Chris tried to calm down. But through the first rehearsals and takes holding Darren's hand all of a sudden got so much more tender than usually.

Darren caressed his fingers and squeezed his hand gently when he looked at Chris – and when neither of them let go of each other's hand in between takes, Chris felt a jolt right in the stomach.

Cory and Lea at one point tilted their heads looking at Darren and Chris saying: "oh you're so sweet together looking like an old married couple".

They all made numerous jokes about that and laughed a lot.

But even though Chris was afraid they could look right through him and that they must have detected how his heart was beating way to fast – it was _impossible_ to let go of Darren's hand.

The afternoon was scheduled with dance rehearsals and even though they weren't holding hands anymore, Chris felt the attraction across the room like lightening that electrified everything around him.

He felt Darren all the time – knowing exactly where he was in the room and sensing when his eyes were searching for Chris.

It was _so_ hard to concentrate and Chris made more mistakes than usually which made Zach tease him a lot.

Chris decided to spend that night in the trailer trying to get some writing done and hoping that would take his mind of things.

But he ended up pacing the limited floor, trying to talk some sense into himself.

_Let go Chris. It can never happen._

_Take care of your heart._

_He doesn't mean anything by it._

_He's just being his charming self._

_I will not go there._

_I cannot go there._

_Focus now._

It was so diffucelt to fall asleep and he kept waking up with a burning sensation of Darren's hand in his.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

For the rest of the week Chris had to ask the makeup crew to do miracles every morning.

He was so tired, because of all the thoughts buzzing in his head every night.

He lost appetite, but wasn't really unhappy. Just confused and falling in love.

At one particular scene he ended up just giving in and letting the feelings catch up with him.

They were all in the auditorium watching a very moving performance by a competitive choir, so all the "New Direction" members were just supposed to react to the music.

Kurt and Blaine were placed in the back row.

Everybody worked concentrated because musical scenes always took such a long time to shoot.

Darren was leaning over a bit so his shoulder and arm touched Chris.

Chris could feel his heart pacing being aware of Darren's every breath. At one point their eyes met for a moment and their hands found each other.

Chris felt overwhelmed and could hardly feel his stomach anymore.

Every now and then Amber and Chord, who sat right in front of them, would turn to talk with them or tell them a joke.

Then they let go of each other. They would talk, laugh and try to act as normal as possible. But as soon as the director called for "action", they ended up holding hands again.

It turned out to be a very long day, and then again, Chris didn't think it was nearly long enough.

He needed to talk to Darren alone, but he was also afraid to do so.

The scene was wrapped up and everybody had a brief break before eating and moving on to the rehearsals of the evening.

There were a lot of people around Darren and Chris all the time, and it was impossible for them to have a word with each other.

In the fuzz of it all Chris suddenly heard Darren say out loud, that he needed some time in his trailer because he had phone calls to make.

Their eyes met again and the Darren hurried away.

Chris waited for 5 long minutes, made an excuse for himself and headed to Darren's trailer.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Chris knocked on the door to Darren's trailer. Darren opened immediately and stepped aside so Chris could enter.

Chris had always loved it here. Music-sheets and recording devices were piling up on the table. On the couch Darren had a piano and two guitars were leaning up against the bed.

There were a lot of photos of Darren's family and Chris knew he missed them.

"Sorry for the mess around here", Darren said blushing slightly.

Chris smiled at him and decided to sit at the kitchen table because all other seats were occupied.

"You know I appreciate creative messiness – and you also know that I don't mind", Chris said.

Darren leaned against the cupboard on the other side of the kitchen and the two friends looked at each other for a moment.

Chris was the first to break the silence. "Darren – what has changed between you and me?"

Darren looked down, ran his fingers through his hair, obviously searching for the right words. When he finally spoke, his voice was emotional.  
>"I'm afraid to tell you that".<p>

Chris' expression softened when he replied: "But I think you _should_tell me".

Darren took a deep breath and finally met Chris' eyes again. "I have feelings for you – Chris - deep feelings. I wanna talk to you … I wanna hold your hand … I wanna kiss you … and I just really really wanna be with you".

Darren's eyes were burning and at the same time he seemed so lost.

Chris had to remember how to breathe again. His cheeks were heating up and his heart was pounding. "I'm a bit confused here Darren", he then said "and I have to ask you this one question: Are you gay?"

"I don't think it's always as simple as that Chris." Darren's eyes were begging him, "I mean – I have been attracted to girls and I have always been in love with the girls I have been dating, but _none_of them has ever made me feel the way you do … and that's all I know for sure."

Chris nodded slowly, but felt hesitant. He needed to understand this fully and more than anything he wanted Darren to be certain.

"Is that why you broke up with your girlfriend?"

"Yes. I broke up with her because of you!"

"For how long have you been feeling like this?"

Darren closed his eyes for a moment as to collect his thoughts, but when he looked at Chris again, he seemed more confident.

"You just grew on me Chris. I cannot give you a specific date. At first I didn't think too much of it – I mean, we were good friends and I got used to working so close with you.

But things just changed more and more, and suddenly I realized, that I was attracted to you.

I started hoping for scripts where Kurt and Blaine would hold hands … or kiss". Darren's voice was almost a whisper at the end of the sentence – as if he was too embarrassed to say it out loud.

"And when those scenes did come, everything inside me just went crazy. I wanted it to last all day and at the same time, I wanted to wrap it up, because I was so scared that you could tell – and that you hated it."

"Well ever since "Ben" I kind of knew." Chris said with a smile.

"Yeah sorry about that – I couldn't hide it anymore.

My heart was racing through that whole shot."

Darren's breast was heaving and the intensity in the air was so thick that it could be cut it in slices.

Then he kind of lost his nerve again. "But all of that is kind of indifferent if you don't feel the same."

Chris reached for Darren's hands and Darren stepped closer to him, and with their fingers intertwined Chris looked gently at him and said:

"I _do_feel the same way – and I think I have had those feelings for a very long time – but I have done a great job suppressing them, because I thought it was pointless!"

Chris looked down at their hands and continued with a sigh, "but you could so easily break my heart – do you know that?"

"Or you could break mine" Darren said with tears in his eyes, moving even closer, "so the question is … if you are willing to take a chance on me?"

Chris looked in to those familiar brown eyes and everything just kind of melted.

"I am" he then said and leaned over and kissed Darren for the first time – not Blaine, but Darren.

Right there the whole world stood still and all the doubt disappeared. They looked at each other for a breathless moment before Darren whispered: "That sure beats kissing in front of the camera crew."

Chris started laughing, "Yeah – who would have believed that."

They kissed again, but were interrupted by someone knocking on the door.

They jumped away from each other laughing silently.

Darren then opened the door. Outside was one of the production assistants.

"Hi Darren", she took one quick step in to the trailer and immediately spotted Chris, "Oh hi Chris – good you're here." She smiled at him and placed her glasses in her hair. "I have a message for both of you, so now I don't have to go twice."

"Well I'm glad I can make your life easier … that's why I'm here .. in Darren's trailer", Chris said with a smile in his eyes.

"Oh Chris you're such a teaser!" The assistant smiled even wider.

"Yeah he is – isn't he", Darren said shaking his head, "what to do with him, what to do." He rolled his eyes to the assistant. Chris had to bite his tongue not to crack up.

"Anyway boys, back to business; Ryan wants to talk to both of you about an upcoming episode, so he'll meet you at the cafeteria."

Darren and Chris stood like officers saying: "We'll be there ma'am, you can count on us."

She giggled, shook her head and stepped out of the trailer. As soon as she had walked away they started laughing and couldn't quit stop again.

"Well we better go see Ryan"

"Absolutely"

"Cause that's what we promised his sweet assistant"

"We sure did …. so we better get going"

"Exactly … just my thought."

They smiled at each other and Darren then said: "Can I just kiss you one more time?"

"Mm mm."

On the way out Chris stopped and looked around

"Can we please keep this as a secret for a while?"

"Yeah sure, that might be a good idea."

"I mean, I know how to be your friend, but I have to get used to being your boyfriend."

"I like that word … boyfriend."

"Me too, it sounds kind of cool."


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

As Chris and Darren talked with Ryan, Chris tried his hardest not to smile all the time and he found it difficult to concentrate.

So he was relieved to join the other cast members for the late dance rehearsal.

They should practice for a musical number they were gonna shoot tomorrow.

He was talking a bit with Amber about a particular Kurtsie outfit he had to wear the next day, when she all of a sudden started laughing at him. "Chris what has happened?"

"What do you mean?" He put on one of his goofy expressions.

"You just look very very happy … almost like a kitten falling down in a jar of milk."

"Really!" He tried so hard to stop smiling.

Amber turned around and got a grip of Darren, Jenna and Kevin, who stood right behind them.

"Hey guys", she said, "look at Chris! Doesn't he look like a kitten being down a big jar of milk?"

The three of them stepped closer and took a long good look at him. Chris rolled his eyes pushing Amber a bit.

"Yes", Darren said, "I have to agree with Miss Riley here. You do look like a very content kitten."

"I would even say you look radiant", Kevin nodded suspiciously.

"Great", Chris sighed, "now I can glow in the dark … always wanted that!"

At the end it was also Amber who months later first figured everything out.

The three of them sat at a table eating and reading an altered script.

The night before Lea had invited all the cast members to a movie night catching up with everybody after a break.

Darren and Chris had been invited too, but both had made excuses for themselves.

Darren told everybody that he was invited to a family party and Chris said he was having a meeting with his publisher.

That was just cover stories though. They had been together at Darren's house. Their schedules had been crazy for the last month and the time they could spend together were so limited.

Now Amber, Chris and Darren were concentrating on their scripts, when Chris suddenly sighed: "I really need my glasses for this, and I can't find them anywhere!"

"Haven't heard that before", Amber said still reading.

"Oh, I have them here in my bag", Darren replied without paying much attention. He grabbed the glasses and gave them to Chris. "You forgot them at my place last night."

The second those words slipped Darren's lips, he knew it was a mistake.

Amber stopped reading, looking thoughtful at both of them.

"I thought you guys were too busy last night. Weren't you at a birthday party?" She asked Darren, "and you – you had a meeting Chris, right?"

Darren and Chris looked at each other trying to think fast enough.

"Yeah … we just … um…"

Amber looked at them with her mouth slightly open.

"Are you two … hm … what's going on here?"

The two boys looked at her with begging eyes.

"Amber, you cannot tell _anyone_!"  
>She placed her hand over her mouth. "OH MY GOD. You have <em>got<em>to be kidding."

"Amber, you are saying that way too loud, and you sort of attract a _lot_of attention right now", Chris whispered.

They looked around and some of the folks sitting at the nearest tables had turned their heads.

"Oh, I'm sorry … it's just." Her eyes were sparkling and she was smiling, "it's just so fricking huge you guys. How am I supposed to carry such a secret alone?" She placed her hands on her burning cheeks.

"Well first of all, you _do_look like "Home alone" the way you sit there", Darren said with a smile, "and second of all, you're still attracting so much attention."

Amber started giggling, but tried to keep it more quite. "It's just … I'm really really happy for you guys, and you will be my new favorite couple. You're so good together!" She looked at her two friends and got emotional all of a sudden.

"No no no no", Chris said taking her hand across the table, "don't tear up on us here; I can't handle that right now." He shrugged his shoulders, "Just be happy for us."

Amber took a big sigh fighting back the tears. "For how long has this been going on?"

"For about four months", Darren said.

"Wow!" Amber's eyebrows were reaching for her hairline, "that long? The boys nodded.

"Why does it have to be a secret?"

"We need time", Chris said, "and if people knows inside of Glee, soon they will know outside of Glee."

"Guess you're right", the admiration in her voice was clear, "I mean - you will be the new "_couple_", the hottest of the hottest. You will beat Angelina and Brad Pitt on the Red Carpet." She started laughing again.

Chris covered his eyes. "You see what I mean; I am just so not ready to beat Angelina and Brad Pitt at anything. They can keep the spotlight."

Amber sat for a while, just taking it all in, with a little smile.

Then when they collected all of their things to get ready for the next rehearsal she said: "Just one more question before we go", her eyes were sparkling, "have you guys been kissing?"

Darren lifted one of his eyebrows and said with a serious voice: "Well Miss Riley, I believe that's _none_of your business."

But Chris leaned over the table saying quietly: "Amber, we do it _all_the time and oh my god he is such a good kisser!"

Darren winked at her, and the boys were heading off.

Amber banged her head against the table. "How am I not gonna tell anybody about this!"


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

Chris was running a bit late. Traffic was a killer at this moment.

It was Saturday afternoon and he was on his way to Darren's place.

They had the rest of the day together and still every minute lost in traffic felt like a waste of time.

Kurt's and Blaine's storylines had been separated for the last week and Chris found it hard not to see Darren during the day.

It was so weird. He had always believed so much in his own independence and he had promised himself never to compromise when it came to his own opportunities.

It was so important for him to follow his heart and be honest and ambitious in his career choices. But all of a sudden, somewhere along falling in love with Darren, his heart stopped its urge to be independent.

At the end of the day all he really wanted was to be with Darren. Not that he felt forced to turn any offer down for Darren's sake, just the need to make some practical arrangements, which assured him time with Darren at a regular basis.

Chris felt a jolt of excitement in the stomach as he parked his car a couple of blocks away from Darren's and took a shortcut on foot.

They were still extremely cautious when it came to the press. The last thing they needed were rumours to blow up in their faces.

They were determined to make it their own decisions as to when and how people should be told. As for now their families knew and that was about it … well and of cause Amber, but she had really been a good friend and their secret seemed safe with her.

Chris knocked on the door as he entered. "Hi Darren – it's just me. Sorry I'm late!"

Darren sat with his laptop by the couch and hurried up the minute he saw Chris. "Hi gorgeous – you're never late and it's always good to see you."

Chris smiled at him. Darren's hair was curly and wild today. He wore a pair of blue jeans and a slim t-shirt, and his brown eyes were full of laughter.

Chris dumped his bag at the floor and kissed Darren on the spot. "I've missed you", he whispered.

Darren hugged him for a long time. "I've missed you too", he said and stroke Chris on the cheek, "but then again, I miss you all the time."

He smiled one of those bright smiles that made Chris feel dizzy.

"I have something I have been dying to show you Chris. Something that came through this morning."

Chris took his jacket off and followed Darren in to the living room.

On the table were a pile of official looking documents. "What's that?"

Chris looked at the first document noticing that Darren practically jumped up and down next to him. "Wait … is that your record deal?" Chris looked at the names signed on the last page. "You really landed it Darren! Oh my God – this is _so_awesome."

Darren nodded eagerly, "that's like the coolest deal ever. I get to work with some of the most amazing peps in the industry. We start recording the minute the last episode of the season is wrapped up."

"Congrats Darren", Chris hugged him, "You're gonna rock that record you know … and when it's done, you have to go on tour … and I can be your roadie or your groupie."

Chris gestured with his arms and had an exaggerated dreamy expression on his face.

"You", Darren tilted his head and winked, "are gonna get the highest classification of VIP that exists. Backstage … alone with me."

Chris waved his hands in front of his face pretending he was about to cry. "Then I will have accomplished all I ever wanted in my life."

"Yes – that and a couple of books – and a couple of screenplays – and a lot of leading roles."

"Oh yeah – that too maybe." Chris shrugged his shoulders. "Seriously – I'm so excited for you. This should be celebrated."

"Way ahead of you." Darren went to the kitchen and came back with a six-pack of diet coke and a bag of chips.

"Oh – you know your man."

"'cause I do."

They sat at the table, eating chips, drinking diet coke and playing cards. When it came to game playing everything between them were a competition … and they kept record of it all - especially the videogames.

Mario was the most prestigious of them all.

Later they both needed to work. Darren sat at one end of his bed with a guitar and sheets of music spread around him. Chris sat at the other end with his laptop trying to finish a difficult chapter.

They were comfortable in each other's company. It was as simple as that Chris thought to himself. He felt safe with Darren.

"Why are you smiling?" Darren asked still looking in his papers.

"I'm not smiling."

"Yes you just did. Don't you think I notice things like that?"

"I thought you were working."

"How can I possibly work when you smile?"

"Well I promise you I will stop smiling."

"I bet I can get you to laugh."

Chris looked at Darren with a serious expression. "I do _not_believe you can do that Mr. Criss. You're simply not talented enough."

"Oh ho – you asked for it Mr. Colfer!"

Then Darren started to sing a song he made up along the way about a little wood nymph called Chris who felled desperately in love with a llama called Darren. The song got crazier as the little wood nymph auditioned for a role in the musical "Wicked", but simply was too small.

Chris had to bite his tongue at the end not to crack up – but had to give in eventually. "Oh my god Darren", he said with tears in his eyes, "you _are_talented after all! Who would have believed that? I'm sure Ryan will let you sing that "original song" on Glee if you ask him nicely."

"He would _have_to – wouldn't he? I mean it's a hit." Darren made rock signs with his hands. "But perhaps it's a bit too revealing don't you think? Chris falling in love with Darren and all."

Chris suddenly got serious. He removed the laptop and the guitar from the bed, moved closer to Darren and reached for his hands. "I don't mind."

"You don't?" Darren sounded surprised.

"I don't want you to be a secret anymore Darren. I wanna brag about being with you. I want my friends to know how happy I am when I'm with you." He swallowed, "but of cause only if it's okay with you."

Darren's eyes were sparkling. "Chris – I have wanted to shout it from the rooftops since you kissed me the first time."

"You have?" Chris started laughing, "well – then you just go ahead and shout, cause I'm terrible proud of being with you – you know."

Darren moved even closer. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"For believing in me – and believing in us … but most of all for trusting me enough Chris."

"Anytime", Chris whispered.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

The Saturday together with Chris was still in every heartbeat in Darren's chest a couple of days later.

He felt like "flying" that morning when he, Cory and Dianna got to sit next to each other in makeup.

Cory was still trying to wake up, but Darren and Dianna started small talking.

Dianna's boyfriend would come visit her on set later that week, so she was so excited.

At that point Cory apparently decided to be a part of the conversation and said to Darren:

"It's been a while since your girlfriend have been around here."

Darren laughed a bit and then shook his head. "You know – that would be really awkward if she came, since we broke up last year."

"Ha ha – okay, I won't invite her to surprise you or anything then."

"Appreciate that Cory."

"But you had been together with her for quite some time hadn't you?" Dianna turned in her chair to look directly at Darren. "A brake up can be hard then."

"Yeah – it was hard, but…", Darren closed his eyes and glimpses of Chris, his hands, his lips and the scent of him filled every part of Darren's mind, "… I'm in a very happy place right now."

"Oh my, oh my", Dianna laughed, "I can tell when somebody's in love. Are you seeing someone?"

"Yeah – I am."

At that point Cory seemed to wake up completely. He met Darren's eyes in the mirror and got thoughtful for a moment.

"Darren I'm gonna ask you this weird weird question – and please don't get offended if I'm way out of line."

"I won't dude – I don't get offended that easily."

Cory searched for right words for a moment. "Am I right if I think that, that "somebody" isn't a girl but a guy?"

"What!" Dianna cried out, "Cory that _was_ out of line". She punched him on the shoulder.  
>But Cory didn't take his eyes from Darren – and Darren looked back at him with this calm sensation in his body.<p>

"No – you're not out of line Cory – not at all. You're right."

"What!" Dianna cried out even louder this time and then started to laugh. "Darren you naughty boy – who are you seeing?"

"I'm … dating Chris."

"I knew it!" Cory cheered, "I just knew it."

This time Dianna forgot to say "what" and just sat with her mouth wide open.

"Our Chris?" she then said.

"Well – now he's mine, but you can have him a little bit". Darren winked at her.

Then he turned to Cory, "have you been talking to Amber?"

"Amber? No – wait does she know?"

"Yeah – she figured it out a while ago. Then … how did you know?"

"I don't know … I mean the chemistry between you and Chris has always been good, but lately it has been crazily good!" Cory smiled, "I'm really happy for you guys." He hugged Darren.

"Thanks man – that means a lot."

Dianna sat a bit hesitant. "Darren, have you been gay all along?"

"I don't know Di, about what has happened before, but what I do know, is that I'm crazily in love with Chris and that I wanna be with him .. for the rest of my life."

Dianna smiled and went over to hug Darren. "Then you have my blessings. Just … take really good care of him … he is pretty special to all of us."

"I will Di – I promise you."

"So it's official now?" Cory asked excided.

"Yeah – we just agreed to that."

"Who else knows, besides Amber?"

"You two are the first."

"So Chris doesn't know we know?"

"Nope." Darren laughed.

"Oh" Dianna started jumping up and down, "can we tease him? Let's make a practical joke!"

"We're on the same page here Di", Cory smiled. "When is he going to be on set to day?"

"He is recording this morning – and is not scheduled to shoot before late this afternoon", Darren said.

"That's perfect! Please don't tell him."

"I won't", Darren lifted his hands.

"Great" Cory said, "cause Chris is not gonna know what hit him. Its payback time for at lot of jokes."


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

Chris locked himself into the trailer. He really should prepare for the scene they were doing later, but he had worked his butt off this morning in the studio and was exhausted.

Just half an hour sleep would mean the world; and he fell asleep the moment his head hit the pillow.

One hour later he woke up confused and late and even more tired than before. He splashed cold water in his face, grabbed the script and his bag and ran for makeup.

"Hi Chris – just on time" Lisa smiled at him.

"Just on time is a very diplomatic phrase for 'you're late' don't you think?"

"Come here – let me save your day sweetie."

Chris dumped into the chair. "Thank you Lisa, you're an angel. I haven't even looked properly on the scene I'm shooting."

Chris pulled out the script from the bag, found the right page and suddenly started laughing.

"Funny scene?"

"No - not really, but I only have one line, so I think I'll manage."

"You just go ahead and practice your line and I will make you look smashing in the meantime."

"You wanna hear the line?"

"Sure."

"Okay – here it comes: _Thank you Rachel – you're truly a good friend."  
><em>  
>Lisa giggled "that's a tough one Chris."<p>

"I could try different versions. _I could say: Thank YOU Rachel – you're TRULY a good friend – or truly a good FRIEND."_

"Um yes - tough artistic decision. But I have to say the last one brought me to tears."

"Then I'll go for that one."

Lisa finished up and Chris gave her a hug. "Thank you Lisa - I think I'm ready for the rest of the day."

"I hope so", she said and Chris suddenly thought he saw a teasing glimpse in her eyes. He was just about to get in to that, when she hurried him out.

"You shouldn't be late you know."

As Chris was going through the studios and met the cast and crew in the hallways, he thought there were a lot of smiles and hugs for him; and at one point he had to check that he didn't wear his shirt inside out or anything.

He shook his head – he was probably just imagining things.

When he entered the choir room he saw Darren for the first time that day … and as usual his heart skipped a beat.

He went to talk to him and Darren met him with a big smile.

When they were sure nobody was listening Darren laughed and said: "You do realize that you're eating me with your eyes right now?"

"Ha ha – oh God no I didn't realize that … but yes, I was." Chris bit his lip. "You know it's sometimes hard to control."

"Tell me about it."

Kevin came and joined them. "How did your recording go to day Chris?"

Chris ran his fingers through his hair. "That was one tough song to nail, but luckily Alexander can get me through almost anything."

Kevin nodded, "Yeah he is really good at that!"

"Is there anything going on here today?" Chris then asked his two friends.

"What do you mean?" Kevin raised an eyebrow.

"Everybody seems pretty excited or something like that."

"Um … yeah – I guess the energy just is good today." Kevin shrugged his shoulders.

Eric who was directing the episode now called to order; and started to go through the scene.

"Okay – listen up guys. This scene is the culmination of a tough week for Kurt. So Rachel is gonna sing a song for him, to let him know she's got his back.

I would like Kurt to sit on the front row a couple of seats to the right. Rachel is gonna sit next to him until she enters the stage; and Blaine will be right behind him.

The rest of you can sit where ever you want."

Then Eric came to Chris. "You can try different angles here, but basically I need to see that Kurt is tired and emotionally drained through the first verse of the song."

Chris nodded.

Eric continued: "Then the lyrics and the 'history' between Kurt and Rachel gradually get to him. And it's emotional at the end, but it is thankful tears – if you know what I mean. At one point Blaine will lay a hand on Kurts shoulder to let him know he's right there for him. So there will be interaction between them."

"No problem", Chris said – and then noticed that Eric kind of lost the flow a bit, so he continued, "and then I will get up and give Rachel a hug."

"Exactly." Eric smiled, "let's take a rehearsal to check camera angles and go from there."

They started to rehears and then shoot.

Chris was focused and concentrated – he had to act through a lot of emotions and tear up at the end of the song. Then he would get up; give Rachel a hug and say: _Thank you Rachel – you'r_e _truly a good friend._ Rachel would take his hands – also with tears in her eyes and say: _Kurt – you know I got your back, we all do._

Between takes Chris would have to dry up his eyes and get his makeup fixed.

After about 8 takes and a lot of hard work for Chris and Lea, Eric called for the last shot.

Chris noticed how the spirit rose in the room and thought that they all needed the break ahead.

He went through all the emotions in the scene one more time. Got up, said his line and waited for Lea to say hers.

Lea took his hands and with tears in her eyes she said: "Chris – you know I got your back – and I know you're dating Darren. We all do!"

It took a moment before Chris realized what Lea had just said – then he broke character and bursted with laughter. At the same time the cast and crew jumped up and shouted and cheered around him.

He dragged Lea into his arms and hugged her. "Oh my God Lea - you cannot do something like that to a man in tears."

"I know, I know" she laughed, "but Cory made me do it – I'm sorry."

Chris turned around and found Cory, who lifted his hands in the air, "It's nothing but payback and you know it Chris."

Chris rolled his eyes and then caught a glimpse of Darren among the rest of his friends. Chris immediately went into "Kurtsie-mode", placed his hands on his hips and said: "Darren – have you been kissing and telling?"

Darren went down to him and looked him in the eyes with a teasing smile on his lips. "No I haven't, but I _have _been shouting from the rooftops."

"Ooooh…" Chris hugged him and everybody around them went crazy.

Then through the door came Lisa with a huge cake – and on the frostings were written _Darren + Chris_.

Chris started to laugh again and hid behind his hands. "Shit – now I'm officially blushing and there's nothing I can do about it."

Eric pulled out a megaphone and shouted: "Now there is a cake-break!"

The next hour was pretty intense for Chris. There were a lot of hugs and "congrats", a lot of love and a lot of cake.

When things were wrapped up for the night Chris and Darren found a quiet place outside, where nobody could see them.

"What a day." Chris smiled in the dark, "When did you tell them?"

"You may not believe it, but I actually didn't plan to tell them. I was talking to Cory and Di, and the opportunity suddenly came up … and … it felt natural. And I also have to say that Cory was on to us."

"That surprises me, he doesn't normally detect these kinds of things" Chris sounded impressed.

"You know", Darren took Chris' hands; "there's a lot of love for you in there" he nodded towards the studios. "I have received so many hugs and "congrats" to day, but also a _lot _of people who have looked me in the eyes and made me promise that I would take really good care of you."

"They're so sweet", Chris sighed, "but so are you … and I trust you the same way you trust me."

They kissed and Chris felt the earth moving as always.

"So …" Darren held him close, "… you probably wanna go home and get some sleep before tomorrow."

"Sleep! I won't be able to sleep for at least the next three hours."

"So …?"

"So … why don't you come home to my place? I can show you my sai swords!" Chris lifted his eyebrows „… or my Golden globe."

"You had me at your smile Chris. It has always been your smile."

"I love you Darren."

"I love you too."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

They agreed to take Chris' car back to his place.

Darren had grabbed a few things from his trailer and now they were on their way.

The darkness in the car was followed by a silence between them that weren't silent at all.

Darren's presence, the intensity in his eyes, every breath he took was overpowering Chris and threatening to cover him completely any minute.

Chris' heart was pounding as he felt Darren's emotions take over.

When he stopped the car in front the house they still hadn't spoken a word to each other.

Chris grabbed Darren's hand and just whispered: "I want you so bad – do you know that?"

Darren nodded and moved closer, "I'm right here Chris – I always will be."

He started to kiss Chris gently and passionately and at that moment they both felt they were losing control.

"Come – let's go inside", Chris smiled, moved the key from the ignition and opened the door.

The cool fresh air of the night felt good on his burning cheeks.

They went inside the house. Chris reached for the switch, but Darren stopped him with his hand.

They dropped their coats on the floor and started kissing again.

Darren kissed his face, his lips, his neck and the little cute scar he had there. His hands slipped under Chris' shirt.

Hands that was caressing Chris. Warm touches that made the world spin around.

Chris closed his eyes and sighed: "Take it easy on me – I'm dying here."

Darren laughed quietly.

They went further in to the house and ended up in Chris' bed…

Chris was overwhelmed by how good it felt to lose control – just to give in and forget everything else.

He drowned in Darren's eyes and Darren let him look right in to his soul – and in that place, of all places, Chris found a kindred spirit.

Chris for his part lowered all guards and in the process Darren was like a fingerprint in his heart.

The physical connection was amazing, but the emotional connection was bigger than life.

Their bodies were intertwined when Darren was slipping in to sleep.

The last thing he said to Chris before he closed his eyes was: _You're so beautiful – do you know that?_

Chris watched him as his body got heavy and his breathing got deeper.

His curly hair, his strong arms, the eyelashes resting on the cheeks.

Bigger than life – it really was Chris thought to himself before he too closed his eyes.


End file.
